What Does "I Love You." Really Mean?

What does "I love you" really mean anyways? When a 14 year old boy tells a 13 year old girl, "I love you." is it true? When a guy looked into a woman's bright eyes and says, "I'm in love with you." is it true? When a girl feels emotionally attached to a young man, does she love him? 

Love, the true meaning of it, has been dragged though the mud and made into something cheap and easy. The word love has been misused and abused by many. "Love" today, is not what it was a hundred years ago. You can "tack on" love if you want something, you can throw it in someone's face (i.e. "I loved you!"), you can pervert and twist what it really means...

Love isn't getting butterflies when he walks into the room. Love isn't always an urge for intimacy. Love isn't what takes place behind closed doors.

Love is sacrifice.

Love is commitment.

Love is humility.

Love is Patient.

Love is kind.

"Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails..." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

"Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13

" ...Do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another." Galatians 5:13

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God." 1 John 4:7 

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfect in love." 1 John 4:18

"...A friend loves at all times." Proverbs 17:17

" For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life" John 3:16

Do any of these verses sound like the "love" this culture promotes? I don't think so.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not bashing love. I am merely calling into question the usage of the word and how shallow we have made it out to be. I'm not saying you can't love someone, I'm saying loving someone takes more than just saying so. It takes time, work, and energy.

When two people truly love one another, it is because they are willing to put in the effort it takes. It is because they realize the love with which they have been lavished by God. Only through the recognition of the Creator's love for you, can you purely bestow love upon anyone else.

Have you ever noticed how many broken families there are these days? If there was never a true heart commitment of love, there will never be a functioning family, a beautiful "love life", or a strong relationship. Think about the flip side...What if there was a true, God-given commitment? Wow. Think of the beauty there!

I have been raised to believe that you never tell someone "I love you" unless you are committed (for example, engagement) If your heart isn't backing the statement, please, just leave it unsaid. To tell a young woman that you love her before you are "all-in" (committed), would be an act of selfishness. You may think you "love" her, but do you? Are you ready to marry her? To put a ring on her finger? Are you ready to go to work every morning? To be the "bread winner"? Are you ready to have babies? Little mouths to feed? Are you ready to make big mistakes, and walk through them with another sinful being at your side?Are you willing to disagree, have fights, forgive, and be selfless? Are you willing to listen to her cry, complain, and criticize? Are you just hopping to serve and study her? Are you truly ready for the commitment "I love you" should carry on its shoulders?

Take a moment and think before you declare your "undying" love for Prince Charming. If he hasn't said it, you shouldn't say it. If he has said it, no ring in hand, not on bended knee, take a moment and think about your dearest Prince. Does he just want something from you, or does he really mean it? Does he want to spend his life with you as his wife? Does he want you because he truly loves you, or does he just want you.

Don't settle for the cheap form of emotional, selfish, indulgence ("love"), when you can have the same love your Creator is offering you. He loved you so much He died for you (John 3:16)! Please, please, please, don't walk away shaking your head, hurt and confused! If you have any questions, concerns, or thoughts, don't be shy about sharing them! I would love to hear from you!


If you have any prayer requests, please visit the "Prayer Request" page on this blog. I will pray for you personally or (if you so desire, and only if you desire) with my family. I have been asking the Holy Spirit to teach me how to pray. It has been such a beautiful journey folks! I would like to be intentional about praying for whoever would ask...


With a heart that cries out to truly be able to love you for you,


~ Rachel S.