The Memories of Antoinette (a short story)

The Memories of Antoinette

By Rachel Lynn Stickler

Illustrated by Rachel Lynn Stickler

Dedicated to my family, friends, and to my first love, Jesus Christ.

The Memories of Antoinette

Summer 2012

Peaceful Reflections

I sit by the window, holding a black button in my hand, I think about Catriona, my brothers, and that cold April night that the Titanic sank into the ocean.  It has been eight years since.  I think about the phrase that will be with me forever more, “Women and children first!”                                               
The birds sing outside as a tear rolls down my cheek.  Biting my lip, I have to smile.  The breeze blowing my long blond hair across my face, this day reminds me of the day that we set sail.  What a glorious morn it was…

Near Collision

It was a gorgeous spring morning when we set sail from Southampton England.  The sun glistened off the silvery waters.  I was all smiles as I looked up into Willie’s eyes, his face beamed with adventure. 

        I remember Eddie leaning out over the rail.  Eddie was two years older than I am; at the time, I was eleven.  Willie stood behind me, his hands on my shoulders.  Willie was brave, he never feared anything.  Not the ocean, not people, and not death.  He was the one I looked up to.  He was my older brother by six years.  I will never forget that big dimpled smile as his searching green eyes skimmed over the sea.  Willie and Eddie.  Both of them I carry in my heart always.

        “Look!”  Hollered Eddie, he pointed at a steamship headed straight for us. “It’s going to hit us!”

        “Back from the rail Ed!”  Yelled Willie as he scooped me up and pulled Eddie away.  He knelt down and hugged me close.  I could see other people bracing for the collision.

 A horn blew and we looked up.  The ship slipped by without touching us. 

        “The American Lines S.S. New York…” Said Willie absently, watching the other vessel as it sailed into the bay.  His dark eyebrows pressed together.

        “Will, isn’t that where Mum and Dad are?”  I brushed a lock of blond hair back into place under my hat.

        “Yes, Anne, that is…” He looked sick, not able to voice the rest of the question. 

        We nearly collided with the ship that had come from the place we were destined.   The captain of the Titanic said that God himself couldn’t sink this ship, now I know that that man was wrong.  At the time, I was just clinging to the hope that he was right. 

I said a prayer as I watched the other boat pass, “God help me to get home to see Mum and Dad.”

Catriona

        Willie went to the dinners and dances held in the ballrooms.  One night I peaked in the window to see where Willie was.  I saw him standing with a girl, he was probably telling her about his faith. 

Willie was always a strong believer, he would tell anyone about the saving love of Christ.  At the time I was unsure of what to think.  I prayed, I read the Bible…but I always felt like I was so empty.  

I saw them talking later, he looked earnest.  Willie came to our room late that night.  I was still up reading.  He was upset and worried because Catriona didn’t understand him because of his faith.  I told him that all would be well.

        Eddie didn’t bother the crewmen and Willie spent his time with Catriona.  He told me that she was starting to accept what he had to say about Jesus.

The Understanding

        It was a cool April day, the 14^th.  It was becoming dark and I could hardly see the still forms of Willie and Catriona whispering together on the deck.  I smiled to think of how nicely they looked together.  

        “Antoinette look, the moon, it’s beautiful.” He looked at Catriona, “See you in the morning.”  She smiled at me and then slipped into the darkness.

        Willie took me around the shoulders and walked with me along the deck.  “Catriona is nice.  I can see something in her that makes me think she could really help the Kingdom of God.  Pray for her Anne, pray that she would see.”  He looked wistfully off into the clear night.

        “I love you Willie.”  I said, feeling warm inside.  I felt love for Eddie, Willie, and the God that holds me.

        “I love you too Anne.  Don’t ever think that God doesn’t care for you.  Don’t be angry with God if he takes loved ones home.”  Bending, he snapped a button off of his jacket and handed it to me.  I think that deep down he knew that something was going to go terribly wrong.

I woke up to Eddie shaking me, “Antoinette!!  The ship is sinking!”

        “Hush Eddie! Go back to sleep.” 

        “No Anne.”said Willie, “The Titanic is going down.” 

        I jumped up, wide awake.  I put on my shoes and threw my jacket over my night gown, turning to my brothers, “You’re coming…right?”

        “Women and children first Anne. You have to get to the lifeboats before they’re gone.”  Said Eddie solemnly.

        When we arrived on deck it was bustling with people.  Women cried and kissed their husbands.  Boys smiled at their sister, telling them that they were brave enough to stay.  My brothers didn’t have to tell me how brave they were.  I knew that they were braver than most. 

Willie held me close as we neared the life boats suspended perilously over the waters.  For some odd reason I thought of Genesis 1:2 The earth was formless and void, and darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was moving over the surface of the waters. The darkness was heavy, ominously pulling the rafts out to sea.  I was frightened.

        “Antoinette, I have to go help with the boats.”  Willie looked at me, then swung around to scan the crowd. “Have you seen Catriona?”

        As we weaved through the masses I spotted her, she was right ahead of us.  I tapped her on the back, “Catriona!”  I yelled.  She turned, hugging me.

        “Sweetheart, where’s…?” She stood up, looking Willie in the face.  “Will, I…”   Tears escaped from her glassy eyes.  “I never thought…”  She choked up and buried her face in Will’s shoulder.

“Cat…this is life.  This is where I am meant to be.” He placed his palm on the back of her head.  “Hush now, no tears…”

        “But Willie…”  She caught her tongue, pulling gently away from him.  “I understand.”

        “I know, this is how it has to be.”  Willie smiled.

        “No Will.  I understand.  I have Him in my heart…Jesus.”  She smiled brightly. 

Willie turned away, hiding the only tears that I might have seen him cry.  “He loves you Cat, more than you know.”  He helped Catriona into a life boat. 

        I grasped Eddie’s hand.  He was dressed in his best Sunday breaches, handing me a life jacket.

        “I’m sorry for all those times I pulled your hair and…”  He started to choke up.

        “It’s okay Ed.”  I looked into his eyes and turned to step into the boat.

Dark Waters

        Slowly the craft was lowered into the dark ocean.  I could hear men yelling, “Woman and children first!”

        Over the noise I heard Willie and Eddie shout to me, “See you Anne, we love you!”

        That was the hardest day in my life.  I miss them more than a sister could miss her brothers.  But I know, that they are up there in heaven looking at me right now saying, “Look Antoinette, look at us now.”

        That ship sank to the very depths of the Atlantic; not with my brothers, but bodies that were never found. Their souls were found, by God Almighty and I bet he wasn’t saying, “Women and children first.”

THE BEGINNING

I greatly enjoyed writing this book. It started out as an essay for 2011's Vision Forum's Essay contest. Sadly, but rightfully, I did not win. Nonetheless, like I said, it was a great deal of fun to write. I didn't just write this story. I poured into it. I prayed over it and cried when I re-read the part when Catriona was saved.(don't tell anyone that! :P) I do understand that the story seems really short and does not have allot of the background. I would have to blame that on the essay contest, though I have gone through and revised several times, trying to improve the story. Please comment and tell me if you find any errors (which I am sure you will! :P bad speller)
Also, if you want to hear more of the story (as in, a novel) please voice that. I want to know if you think that it would make a good historic...fiction...novel...book. Because I have thought about adding more body to the story line and beefing it up a bit more with the Biblical side of Catriona and Willie's relationship (which I am sure you made out as quite romantic....uh, I wasn't really trying to go for "romantic", but rather a brotherly kind of relationship that was not intimate at all.)
To say more about Willie and Cat. The reason why I might make a longer story is because I want to add more detail concerning them. As-Is, the story makes it out like they would get married in a flash...hold your horses! Willie is a God fearing gentleman who wants to honor his creator through his actions. He doesn't just share the gospel with good-looking Irish girls...he speaks out to other people as well. I guess I am thinking about making it longer.... :)

I hope you enjoyed it! Tell me what you think!

GOD BLESS!

Simply Laugh

Sometimes you just have to laugh! There are days when I can't keep from laughing because if I was not laughing I would be crying. Do you have those days?

Joy is something that the Lord has given us as a gift. Sometimes it comes naturally and sometimes we have to work real hard before we dig up the treasure of true joy (sometimes we don't take the time to see that Christ is holding peace and joy out to us). Many times I am tempted to mope around when I am having a bad day I sometimes do.  But I got to thinkin', what good does it do for me, my family, and everyone I come in contact with? Being down happens sometimes, I know that. Some days it seems like there is a storm cloud over my head just waiting to burst open...sometimes it does...

Most of the time it is obvious when someone is having "one of those days". Think though, is it obvious when you are having a good day? Do you smile, laugh, and praise God as much as you do the opposite on a bad day?

Listen to me though. I understand that we are all human! We get angry, we get upset, and we get emotional about things...God created us this way, right? He wants us to be human because that is who he created us to be. But he doesn't want us to go around cursing his creation because our day (which is truly His day) is going wrong.

Ok, so what if someone calls you a name. Yeah, so, she thinks you are fat...that is her problem. Really?! He just pulled out in front of you? Oh well, you'll still get to work on time. Problems can be solved by simply letting go sometimes. Even though things make our blood boil, it doesn't mean that they have to squash our hopes of a joyous day. Simmer a moment while you get things under control, then asses the situation and see weather it is really worth getting worked up over. Look around you. You are alive. You are forgiven. You have been saved. SIMPLY LAUGH!

DEFINE NECESSITY

This picture made me tear up... I think about all that we have and all that we complain about, how fortunate we are...yet we always want more. We are always searching for 'the new thing'. I guess this picture just struck home in part of my heart. There are people stuffing their carts with what they think is necessary while there are millions of children that don't even have a simple covering for their naked bodies or a scrap of food for their starving stomachs. DEFINE NECESSITY.

Rainy days in one's soul

Do you know that time when it seems like nothing is going right? Yeah. I've been having one of those days! It's ok though :) I'm just complaining :)

I know that God is doing something and he is doing it for a reason. I realize that so many times I complain about my situation and what is going on, yet there are millions of people out there that have it worse than I do. To be honest, it is humbling.

Realizing that God has you exactly where he wants you for a reason is an eye opener. I'm not saying that God "has" thousands of people in poverty and suffering. But, he does know where they are and how he is going to work his Glory through them.

Don't be discouraged if you are having a "bad" day. I know it may be raining in your soul, but it doesn't have to be. Christ gives a joy that can wipe all your tears away and turn those gray skies to blue.

I'm not saying that God will pull you out of your current situation just because you ask. But that he will help you through your trials. He wants to see what your reaction to these obstacles are and know that you are going to cling to him and the cross rather than your own strength.

So Blessed not to be Stressed! (Right Now)

I feel really happy and virtually stress free. I am not like a super stresser (I totally just made up that word!). I normally get stressed about school, college, and tests. But I rarely get stressed about emergency situations and messes and what not. It is really nice though. It's Sunday and it is a good day!

I think that God is helping me deal with many of the potentially stressful situations in my life. It is amazing to feel the peace that I have been praying for over the last few weeks!


Yours Always,

~Rachel