Breaking Me

          Nothing is greater than the will of the Lord, for He sees all things and knows all hearts. What good will my worries bring but sorrow and disappointment?

What is my love to any man if not first given to God?
What is my joy to any peoples if not displayed before my Lord?
What is my life to the lost if not open to the will of Jesus?
What is my heart to this world if not broken and remade by the hands of the Creator?
What is my body to anyone if not first sacrificed to the Son of God?
What is my death before my enemies if not an act of obedience to Christ? 

          These questions came to me the other morning while I was sitting on the porch swing enjoying a quiet moment with God. I was surprised at how powerfully they struck my heart. Whipping out my journal and pen I wrote each of them down as they flowed through my thoughts.

          My prayer as of late has been; God, show me my faults. Work through my mistakes. Lead me and break me if you have to. Lead me...
          It may seem that this is an odd prayer. Break me? Why did I say that? What drove me to ask God to break me?

My sin. My pride.

          Often times I cannot see through my pride. I get caught up with how "Right" I am and how "Wrong" you are. In the heat of the moment it seems like there is no way that I could possibly be in the wrong. To the bitter end (Sadly) I hold onto the feeble argument of correctness and moral. While trying to justify my "Right", I do what is so grievingly wrong in the sight of my Lord.

          It is pride that has driven me to the foot of the cross. Gasping, I cry out to Jesus, praying that He would show me my wrongs and my failures. Praying that He might make a better woman out of the poor soul that kneel at His feet.
          Sometimes one must be broken in order to be made new. Pride must be broken. How will it be broken? Christ will start to point out every detail of your life where pride shows up. He will slowly allow you to see the spoiled spots in your heart. He will firmly but lovingly extract the blot of shame from your weary soul. He will stamp out the flams of judgment and replace them with rivers of redeeming love.

          Christ has begun to break me down. He is teaching me that I alone am not enough. He is showing me that there is allot about me that can be changed through prayer and supplication. He is asking me to be patient, kind, and gentle when my temper threatens to flare up. He is causing my thoughts to dwell upon wrongs that I would never have noticed a year ago. He doesn't ask me to linger on my failures, but to notice them so that I can correct my heart and thinking when it comes time for the right thing to be done.

          Should I have ever asked Him to break me and make me new? A RESOUNDING YES! I am thankful that He placed it in my heart to cry out to Him in such manor. I know that rough times are ahead, that my nature will come out, that people will see me for who I really am, but I think it is beautiful. Not my sin of course, but the change that I know He will perform in me.

          In all honesty, I want to be transparent with you. All of you. I don't know who you are (well...maybe some of you), where your from, or what you are really like, but I want  you to know that I am a sinner. I am human (duh). I fail. I also want you to know that I get angry (surprise, surprise!), and self-righteous (pray...I'm not the only one...?). I love being me. I don't want to cover up my quirks, failures, and weaknesses, because I know that we all have them and we all need help to fix them. So many people are determined to hide who they truly are. I understand not blowing up in front of friends or not bragging about your awesomeness to classmates, but I don't understand this total mask that everyone wears. This mask bandages and hides the festering wound beneath. It causes us to create a person of our own design. God designed us perfectly the way he wished us to be. He placed in us free will. We chose death. Why are we not fessing up to it? Why do we hide the fact that we are sinners when everyone else on the face of the planet it a sinner too?
          I'm not telling you to drop all decorum and to be "Real" (rude, mean, prideful...etc.) with the people you know. I'm saying, drop the walls that are keeping you from experiencing True Life. Tear away the Perfect's and the Pride's, and look forward, dig deep, realize that you are a sinner. Reach out and say, "Hey, this is me. A sinner. A loser...one saved by grace."
          Don't get me wrong. I'm not talking about Cheap Grace (a term used most frequently by Dietrich Bonhoeffer in his book The Cost Of Discipleship.) guys. I'm talking about Costly Grace. We were saved by a Grace that died on a cross for us. Jesus didn't say, "Go now brethren, sit in a church pew, there you will find grace." He said, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow me."(Luke 9:23)  Daily you must take up your cross. Daily you must strive after Him. Christ died a death deserving of Costly Grace. Why do you sit back and take in this form of comfort that is only Cheap Grace? Take up that cross. It lay on the dirt beckoning you to touch it. Feel the grains of wood that have soaked up innocent blood. Heft the weight of it on your shoulder. Feel that it is a beautiful burden. A burden that grows lighter every step of the way.
          You perform an act of taking up your cross by asking God to lead you. To show you where He wants you to be.
           Don't shy away from the human nature that so often struggles within you. Face it head on. Say, "This is who I am now, but I know that through Him who created me, I will be made new." Our human nature can only get away with more and more the longer we try to ignore, hide, or deny it.


          Re-evaluate these questions now that I have sufficiently talked your ear off about all kinds of things!

What is my love to any man if not first given to God?
What is my joy to any peoples if not displayed before my Lord?
What is my life to the lost if not open to the will of Jesus?
What is my heart to this world if not broken and remade by the hands of the Creator?
What is my body to anyone if not first sacrificed to the Son of God?
What is my death before my enemies if not an act of obedience to Christ? 

           Have you taken up your cross? Are you who you really say you are? Are you who God wants you to be? Do you pray that God would change you?

           Now, somehow, I have to wined down after that...speech?...might you call it that? I dearly pray that I have not scared you away or caused you too much grief! I only wish to provoke you to deep thought. I couldn't sit with the wheels turning in my brain for a day without causing the wheels to turn in yours! I'm sorry if you had trouble with any of the concepts or my sporadic way of expression! I try to bring things across as clearly as possible, but sometimes it ends up in a jumble!

          If you have any questions or thoughts, please email me or comment!!!

With many laughs, tears, and thoughts,

Yours Truly,

~Rachel

Willing to be Wrong

     Sometimes we have to be willing to be wrong in order to do anything right. God works through bold prayers and rewards those who put their reputation on the line for the sake of Christ, the church, and faith.

     So often I'm not willing to dream big and pray boldly because I am afraid. Afraid to be wrong. Afraid to be disappointed. Afraid of what the world will think.

     This manor of thought has proven to be a potent poison that has dampened my prayer life and removed much of what I once held dear.

     I want to be willing to be wrong. I want to pray boldly and confidently, knowing that God works all things for His glory and my good.

     What if you are wrong? Who cares, move on and trust God. What does the world think anyways? Well...not what you do. It doesn't matter what the world thinks of you! You are in the world but not of it. What if you are disappointed? Sometime trials and troubles come. So it is with disappointment. No matter what, Gods got your back!

Bold prayers and many Blessings!

 Truly,

Rachel 

Graduated!!!!

I graduated on Monday with my three other siblings!!! It was such a blessing to graduate together! Love you guys so much :)

So blessed to have the family and friends that I do :)

Thanks guys!

Love,

Rachel

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Perseverance and Pride

          "I fear that I might never change, that the ones I love will turn away from me before I have a chance to better this pride shattered heart of mine." - Rachel (Journal entry 5/9/13)

          Do you ever feel this way? Do you ever feel that your sins are next to hopeless? That no matter how strong you try to be, you always fall once you come to the tightrope of Pride? I am feeling a little like this.

           Somehow I managed to make both my sister and one of my brothers upset with me this morning. I realize that the blame falls on my shoulders, after a long bloody battle with Pride, that is. I have yet to ask forgiveness, but I know it is called for and that my heart wouldn't allow me to go on as-is.

          Pride is a beast that can easily choke out poor Humility, Joy, and Peace. It has a terrible way of preying upon one's weaknesses. Please, my friends, don't allow this beast into your heart in the first place, for Pride will waste and ravage what you hold dear. 

          Call upon Christ when you see the battle at hand, for alone you cannot hope to gain victory.

          There is hope friends :) there is always hope, He is calling your name, beckoning you to the foot of the cross.

Persevere,

~ Rachel

Falling In Love Again

          I have my good days and my bad days. Some days I feel like I can't even talk to God because I am so humanly sinful. I get down about the things in my life that seem to plague me every day and every hour.

          A friend just recently mentioned to me how God knows our needs and he knows the things that bug us. He also cares enough about us to do even little things for us. God places both road blocks and gifts in my path everyday. It is up to me how I react to them. Often enough I don't jump at the opportunity to honor God by working through a difficult situation. God cares about how you see things and how you deal with the little things. For example: I am walking along having a perfectly miserable day, everything seems to be going wrong and BAM! Another issue pops up. Am I going to choose to honor God through this thing that has come up? Will I cast my gaze to heaven and say, "Thank you God that you see me here, and that you care for me the way that you do." Or will I stumble over this trial in a way that would make my Father sad? Truly, I wish to take every opportunity and work through it for my good. Everything happens for a reason, remember this.

          Through this amazing realization, I have become open to the world of God all over again! It's like falling in love with a God I hardly knew. God is so great and mysterious that we can never hope to know a fraction about him. Isn't it good to know that we can't "figure God out"? If we could come to the "End" of God, what kind of an amazing being would he be? He wouldn't be God at all!

          I'm just overjoyed to rediscover the awesomeness of our God! I know it may seen weird, but I am so lucky and so happy! Thanks for reading :)

Health, Happiness, Kindness, and Joy,

~Rachel

Stay at home?

          I have been going through a book called "Joyfully at home" with a group of friends. A friend of mine is leading the discussion, I am so thankful that she was led to start the study.

          We have been talking about stay at home daughter hood. You may be thinking ...ok so...well it is very interesting to examine the thought process behind staying at home as a daughter. Is it because we wish to be lazy? Is it because we expect to be married ASAP? Is it because we are afraid to go out into the world? The answer to each of these questions is A resounding NO! My reasons for staying at home are biblical. I plan hope to be married some day, but I'm not out searching the streets for a potential mate, or waiting at home for him to ride in on his white horse. I know that God has a plan for me and He also has a man for me (if He desires that I should be married). Why should I wait around for him if I can be keeping busy doing what God wants for me?
          One thing that God has for me is to serve my father while I am still under his roof. I can still go out into the world and be myself, and still ask advice and be led by my loving father. I am so blessed to have the dad that I do. I understand that many of you may not have the earthy influence that a dad can bring. Pray that God would lead you in his footsteps :)
          I guess I just wanted to share this to let y'all know what I have been up to, and to see what your thoughts on the subject are.

Love,

~Rachel

What is Devotion?

          This question came to me today as I sat and thought about my relationship with Christ. I thought about how much He has done for me and how little I have done for him. He stooped to our level in order to love and devote His life to us, so much so that He died for us.

          The picture of a young man hanging on a bloody cross is the very picture of devotion.

          I sit and think about how "devoted" I am in my life. I'm not exactly as devoted as I want to be. I would like to be devoted to my family, friends, and most of all, to Christ. I can see where my relationship with Christ would be 99.9% better if I would try my utmost to devote my life to Him. It seems like a cliche matter, but it is serious.

         There is no way that we can devote ourselves as Jesus did, but we can try. There is nothing that should (or can) stop us from trying to be like Jesus.

         Take a moment today and think about what devotion really means and how (if played out in your life) it could change your world.

          If anyone has more thoughts on devotion and what it means, please, do comment!

Yours Truly,

~Rachel